IT has nothing to do with pressure.
I saw this on CNN today.
Now, I met a LOT of students in college with absolutely ridiculous career goals. They weren’t the sharpest pencil in the drawer to begin with, and they were also lazy, yet they still thought they could–or at least SHOULD–become doctors and lawyers even as they were pulling Cs in Poli Sci 110 and failing Bio 101. The reason for this is that, throughout their school careers, they were told ANYONE can do ANYTHING they want to, and they were given trophies at the end of every event just for showing up because They Are Special People.
It is possible to be not terribly bright and make it through law and medical school. It’s even possible to be not terribly bright and be as good at your law or medicine job as the average doctor or lawyer. But there is a certain minimal intelligence needed for these careers, and it’s as pointless to try for them if you haven’t got what it takes as for a kid with Down’s Syndrome to attain a full high school-level education. It simply isn’t possible.
Yet few of the students who “try” and fail fall into the category below possible competance. Most COULD make it–if they were willing to work as hard as they’d have to in order to attain the knowledge to be successful in upper level courses and med or law school and to maintain the GPA that would get them there. But they weren’t taught “most people can be successful in most jobs if they put forth the required effort.” No, they were taught that the most important things were high self-esteem and high goals, the latter of which should be achievable without going through anything that could possibly make you feel bad about yourself. Remeber, you can do ANYTHING! They see tough courses as a personal affront to their universe–that the world has somehow spun off its axis if they are required to exert themselves to keep from failing. And so, unsurprisingly, they do fail. And whine about the unfairness of life that doesn’t just hand them everything they want.
I hate the cult of self-esteem. I loathe it. It teaches people that the most important thing is not to be good people, decent people, skilled or hardworking people but to like themselves and be happy with themselves as they are and to think that how they are is GREAT.
Excuse me? The Nazi party was made up mostly of normal, average people. The people who hacked their neighbors apart with machetes in Rawanda were normal, average people. Being “yourself” as you NATURALLY are is far more despicable than admirable. We should teach children to reach beyond themselves, to imitate people of great talents and/or virtue, to improve themselves mentally and physically and to derive satifaction from improvement rather than simply sitting, sluglike and complacent, at the lowest common denominator–which is so low that almost any atrocity is not out of character. The history of normal people has been one of insignifigance interspersed with horrific brutality. This is not something to be proud of or to wish to preserve.
I really think this attitude is why so many Americans–children and adults–despise people who are either smart or virtuous. It’s okay to admire Mother Theresa, who is dead now and was in India when she was alive, but any neighbor whose family and attitude might resemble Ned Flanders should be hated for making us look bad, and there must be something really freakish and wrong under the too-perfect exterior that will make us feel good about our own broken lives. It’s great to admire Stephen Hawking, but at the same time, it’s almost expected that an intelligent child will be persecuted and treated like a freak for daring to display any sort of precocity int he school room and endangering the SELF-ESTEEM of the teacher and the other children.
Esteem is something that should be EARNED. It makes sense to esteem people who are especially skilled, who are effective, who are compassionate or unselfish or the like. Esteem of oneself should not be the default emotion when one analyzes one’s on life. That’s a breath away from entitlement and selfishness, both of which should be spurned and condemned.

